Recovery

Eating Disorder Update

Hey everyone (: Yesterday I filmed a video where I discussed my recent struggles. In case you wanted to watch it, I put it below. Just a warning: it’s not a very positive video. No numbers or anything like that are included, but it’s not the most insightful post.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Eating Disorder Update

  1. Em, I’m proud of you for being so vulnerable and honest about where you are at. Can I just say that I relate to so much of what you said? I have lost some weight, too recently…but I’m definitely not as sick as I used to be. It’s a hard place to be and it’s scary! Because you know the consequences of losing more but you can’t seem to “snap out of it” and your struggling but you feel like people don’t see it…at least that’s how it is for me. I think you should do the iop program. I know your at the age where you are kind of in between, but I’m sure there will be other girls in the same boat and if not, it’s ok! Your there for you girl. I’ve been in that position too and you just need to gravitate toward where you are most comfortable. Do yourself a favor and be good to you. Take care of yourself. Whatever that means and if it means giving iop a shot-go for it! It can’t hurt. I’m always here if you need to talk I have a recovery Instagram too which you can find on my website, you can always DM me. Hang in there love I know you can do this πŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just like Bella mentioned, I too can relate to SO much of what you were describing in this video–not that I would claim my experience to be 100% similar, since every person is different in that regard, but I can empathize at least to some degree with what you are going through right now. The whole “I know I’m sick and unhealthy but I can’t seem to motivate myself to get better” issue is something that I struggled with as well. I hated the fact that I was causing my wonderful family members and friends so much pain and stress, and the logical part of my brain knew that I was at a very unhealthy weight, but it was quite difficult to take the plunge and fully commit myself to recovery. And yes, the mental part of recovery can be so much more difficult than the physical part, and it’s something that I’m still dealing with every once in a while, even though it’s been two or three years since I was weight-restored and in a fairly stable physical condition. I appreciate your honesty and willingness to admit that you’re in a rough spot–after all, you can’t tackle a problem until you admit that it exists. I will be sending healing thoughts your way, and if you ever want to discuss anything via email, just let me know–I realize that you don’t know me personally, so you might not be comfortable chatting with me, and I completely understand/respect that πŸ™‚ I know you’re struggling right now, but you seem like an intelligent, kind, and courageous young woman, and I will be rooting for you in this long and difficult process!

    Like

  3. I have to say you are so strong! I think this is so incredibly real in terms of what it feels like to be in the midst of an eating disorder. Recovery is incredibly difficult, as I myself have seen in my own journey. I think the most important part, (which I need to do as well) is learning how to stop blaming ourselves and understanding that even when we falter we were still doing our absolute best. We should not aim for perfection, but instead progress. And I think this video and your sharing is a moment of progress (despite the fact that you’re struggling). I know it does not feel that way, but hearing you speak it is clear that you have an idea of what you want your recovery to look like and it just means that you have to continue to climb up this hill. I am so sorry that you’re struggling right now. Just know, you’re not alone! And you will get through this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the love and support! I definitely do feel like I have been blaming myself for my recent struggles. Thank you for the reminder that I need to focus on progress and improvement rather than perfection. It helped so much to state my feelings out loud. I hope you are feeling strong and happy and healthy<3

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Emily! This morning I was
    Despite our different backgrounds, this video was too relatable. I can’t understand why I am struggling with recovery too. I’m at the point where I want to recover and I know what I need to do to recover (i.e. eat, eat, eat like crazy). But somehow I just can’t. I don’t know how to change and it scares me. This morning I had a brief meltdown; I don’t know what I enjoy doing in my life anymore because I feel the ED & recovery is all I think about. I feel stuck too and it sucks. It’s exhausting, time-consuming and I’m sick of it.

    You are not being a downer! It’s good to get these things off your chest. In some sadistic way, I am glad to hear this and know that I am not completely alone in my downward mental spiral. Also, I wanted to tell you that you can & will get through this! I’m really glad I came across your blog and hope you know that I am here for you if you need someone to lean on. πŸ™‚

    Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s